Must My Aspiring Influencer Friend Cease Exploiting Me for Content?

One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?